As our world turns day by day, our children are seeing and learning. They do what they see when they don’t know any better, and many of them find out that spontaneous repercussions follow hand in hand. Things that they do wrong now can highly affect their abilities to become responsible adults in the future if they are left “unnoticed”.

Disciplinary actions start in the home. Unfortunately, so does the cycle of abuse. Children often associate attention with both negative and positive reinforcements. When a small toddler repeats the word “No” all the time, it is obvious that their world is sufficed around negative influence rather than positive.

Cycling away from the abuse tactics may be difficult. We want our children to mind, behave, but still be children. Redirection is one of the best ways to work with smaller children, while positive enforcement works well with adolescents. Talking, not screaming, can help your child to recognize the difference in what they have done wrong, what the consequence is for their action, and allows them to maintain an open line of communication with you the parent.

However, there is a fine line in knowing how to talk to your kids versus talking at your kids. Talking to your kids allows them to respond and to verbally assess the damage that may have been done. Talking at your kids, however, subconsciously asserts them to be quiet, respond only with body language, and notifies them that they have succeeded in receiving attention, though not the right kind.

Parents are not taught to be parents. Nor do they receive a guide on what they are supposed to do in any situation, regardless of the adversity of it. Parents should talk to their kids about smoking, drinking, and the dangers of drugs. Many of them don’t know how, and many of them would rather skip the subjects and not know. Unfortunately, it isn’t until too late that the parents begin the discussion, when their teens have already been under the influence of peer pressure and given in.

Talk with your children. Help them to understand the rules of the game of life. Be assertive and calm, but let them speak as well. The old rule of children should not speak unless spoken too no longer applies. Open communication lines with your children and let them know that you are there for them, even as busy as you may be. You may not be wonder mom or dad, but you can be the best parent you know how to be.

« »